Anxious.

There are some things in my life I do not have control with and these things cause me to be anxious. And I am writing about it now in an attempt to make me feel a bit less anxious. Something happened last night and I cannot shake it off my head. It is making me overthink. And over thinking for me creates a problem that wasn't even there to begin with.

I am not a total control freak but my nerves get to me when things don't go my way. I alter my thoughts when this happens, but today, nothing works. I tried to confront the person causing my anxiety, but he made it worse. I made it worse too because the fact that he gives me no clue as to what's going on makes me even more agitated. My finances have been a wreck since the mid of this year and my feelings have been a roller coaster of shit because of this.  I have put myself in a very vulnerable position. And it is all my doing. I am seriously on the verge of a breakdown I fear.

I spoke to a friend to calm me down, he did a little bit and I was distracted for a while. But now I think about what could be's and disasters are spiralling in my brain.  I need sleep. I will sleep and forget about money for a bit.